A Part Of Us Remains
by CUtopia
Summary: Tali wasn't the only one who needed someone – as much as she needed him, he needed her. This little girl was all he had left of Ziva, and of their love.


My very first NCIS oneshot - I am open for critique :)

Thank you to Emily, who betaed this for me!

* * *

 **A Part Of Us Remains**

Tony DiNozzo had really thought that it would feel odd to come home, knowing that he had just left his badge and gun on Director Vance's desk. He had expected to feel nostalgia or to have second thoughts about resigning. And on his drive back home, he indeed had felt a tiny flame of doubt in the pit of his stomach.

However, it had disappeared in the same second he'd opened the door to his apartment and had been met by the sight of Tali riding on his father's back, squealing in happiness. In that moment, he knew that it had been the right decision. When she had spotted him standing by the door and had stretched her short arms in his direction, her face lit by affection, any trace of doubt left behind had been wiped away.

It was the only thing he could have done. He was everything Tali had left now. He was her father, and him taking care of her was the only option; it was his duty.

Though when he changed her into her clothes for the night and goofed around with her for a bit, trying to make her a little bit more tired, he realised that he wasn't doing this because he had to, but because he wanted to.

Tali wasn't the only one who needed someone – as much as she needed him, he needed her. This little girl was all he had left of Ziva, and of their love.

Ziva…

Only now, as he was sitting on his king size bed with Tali in his arms, watching as she drifted off into a light slumber – she had refused to sleep alone and had clung to him – he was able to really think about the events that had rushed at him so fast that he'd barely been able to take them in.

He had a child, a gorgeous little girl that knew that he was her daddy, because her mother had told her. Her mother, Ziva, the woman he had loved for so long, and still did. Without him knowing about it, they'd had a baby, something that he had never dared to dream of when he had left Ziva in Israel.

But here she was, lying in his arms, cuddling against his chest with her small nose buried in Ziva's scarf that enveloped them both with her scent. It was comforting to smell it; when he closed his eyes, he could imagine that Ziva was standing next to him, a light smile on her lips as she watched him and their daughter. A perfect picture.

The only thing ruining this picture was that she was said to be dead. Everybody seemed to believe it without doubting for a second, except for him.

Tony had, of course, noticed his own behaviour; the fact that he had yet to properly react to her death, as if he was hoping that a miracle would happen. Of course, when Abby and Tim had come to tell him the news, he had felt as if someone had slammed him into a brick wall after ripping his heart out, and he had been on the verge of tears.

However, shortly after that moment, the doubts had started to rise inside of him, numbing the pain and mostly banishing it from his consciousness.

He wasn't speaking of her in the past tense, and he was withdrawing himself whenever someone started to talk about her as if she was dead. Ever since he had learned that there had been no body, the little glimmer of hope that Ziva could still be out there had subtly swirled around in his head. His whole being seemed to refuse to even consider that it was true - that his Ziva was in fact dead and had left him and Tali behind; that he would never have the chance to ask her personally why she hadn't told him about her pregnancy. Orli was probably right about Ziva not requiring a man to hold her hand during her pregnancy, but still he would have preferred to hear that from her. Ziva would have clarified everything, and it wouldn't feel like such a shock.

Because no matter how oddly good, nearly natural, it felt to have Tali sleeping in his arms, her small fingers now grabbing his t-shirt, holding on to it tightly, it was still an overwhelming situation. His whole life had been thrown upside down, and within the shortest amount of time, he had been forced to make decisions that would determine how his journey, and also that of Tali, would proceed. Maybe it would've been easier if he at least had known about Talia's existence. On the other hand, things surely wouldn't have gone like they had if Ziva had informed him about their child.

What if Ziva was still alive?

Of course, he had seen the house; it had been burnt to the ground, but Tali had managed to escape. And if there was a way Tali had been saved from the fire, a woman like Ziva could too! Maybe she was out there, somewhere, hiding…

If he was honest, this hope was what kept him going. But maybe he had to be more logical.

He'd booked a flight to Israel, out of the desire to see everything with his own eyes, desperately wanting to find proof that Ziva wasn't gone.

However, what should he find that the Mossad himself hadn't been able to discover?

It was probably pretty delusional to think that he could find out anything new about Ziva's death.

Looking down at Tali, at her peaceful face as she slept, he realised what, or better, who his priority had to be now.

His little girl needed him, and he couldn't just fly to the other end of the world with her, concentrating more on finding her mother than on the girl that was lying right here, in his arms.

All the things Tali and he would need were already packed, and it wouldn't be a problem to change his plans.

Careful not to wake his daughter, Tony fingered for his cellphone, lying on his nightstand, and grabbed it. It didn't take him long to cancel the flight to Israel and luck was on his side, as he was able to grab the last two seats on a flight to Paris the next day.

Of course, Paris wasn't the best destination either, and he knew that he would be holding on to the hope of seeing her somewhere in the streets of the city that was so special to Ziva and him. But it had a different feeling. He wasn't clinging to the thought that he would find any new traces - instead, he was longing for the nostalgic feeling Paris had for him.

Tali was still young, but the thought of showing her the city that her mother had loved so much, maybe it was a good one.

OoO

About a day and a half later, Tony and Tali were strolling through the streets of Paris. Tony felt like he would never get enough of the happy smile his daughter had on her face whenever she discovered something fascinating. Her laughter made him forget the sorrow he had felt over Ziva's death, and he started to see everything clearer now.

If Ziva really had faked her death, she surely wouldn't just appear in Paris, a place which was obvious for everyone who knew just a little bit about her. She was too smart to appear here upon hoping that Tony would come here, as she would expose herself to those who'd tried to kill her.

And, if she really was dead, he would only waste time that he could spend concentrating on his daughter.

Tali was his priority now; it wouldn't do her good if he forgot to live because he was clinging to a dream.

The two of them spent the first day in Paris doing a little bit of sightseeing; Tony tried to make it as exciting for the little girl as possible, and somehow, they ended up playing catch in the Parc de la Villette after their visit on the Eiffel Tower.

Even though she didn't really speak English, they still understood each other without problems; thanks to his Hebrew skills and her pretty obvious signs, they communicated without difficulty. Tony felt his heart jump every time she laughed in glee, flung herself into her arms after letting him catch her and giggled "Abba" into his ear with so much affection that he could have started to cry.

It astonished him how much happiness she radiated, how joyful she was, until he realised that Tali probably hadn't realised yet that Ziva was gone. But if he thought about it, he was glad that she was too young to fully understand why her mother was absent, and that his presence seemed to calm her. Tony assumed that would happen soon enough, and until then, he would do everything to keep this cute smile on her face.

In the evening, after having a little dinner, he let Tali watch a movie while messaging some of the pictures he'd taken today to Abby, like he had promised her before leaving. The moment he hit 'Send', he was sure that Abby would spread the pictures around the NCIS, making it unnecessary to send ones to Tim or Gibbs as well.

"Abba!"

Tony turned around and smiled softly - Tali was jumping in front of the TV, watching Mulan, and had a look of excitement on her face. In this moment, Tony had an idea what they could do next here in Paris; something that would make both Abby and Tali squeal in joy.

Only two days later, Tony was walking through Disneyland with Tali jumping at his hand, dressed up as Mulan. She was the cutest little warrior princess Tony had ever seen, and his heart jumped whenever she laughed at him and pulled him towards another wonder she'd discovered. He somehow felt younger as he ran through the park with her and held her in place as she sat on his shoulders, watching the big parade.

And as they fell into the bed that evening, exhausted from this exciting day, and Tali snuggled up against him with a cute yawn, Tony felt like the luckiest man in the world.

He may have lost his Ziva, but he had also received something just as precious in return; his little Tali.


End file.
